Older Women Rock

Baby Boomers and Pole Dancing. Need I say more?

2012-02-10T14:06:00.003-05:00

It’s been pretty obvious that our civilization has been going downhill for a long time. In ancient times we always pulled through due to the wise elders.

I was hoping that this will be the case in our generation. That is until I read something that jolted me back to reality. It seems that some baby boomers are spending the precious years they have left –gasp- wrapped around a slimy pole! Would you believe that they attach themselves in this very inelegant manner like overweight lizards hoping to attract a mate?

Instead of seeking ways to advance and enlighten the tired masses, they are writhing and wiggling, wishing & hoping that vertigo does not strike in mid air, while they do their killer moves.

I say that is way too much wasted energy. If they really want to attract a mate then they should do like the rest of us. Go to a dark bar, grab on to their barstool and hope for the best!

Its National I don't give a sh-t day!

2012-01-28T16:02:00.000-05:00

The other day a friend told me that it was National I don’t give a sh—t day. At first I thought I did not hear her right. After all, my hearing sometimes plays tricks on me. This is someone that is always up to date on the latest atrocities that mankind tends to do on their fellow beings. She knows all of the grim crime statistics and the names of all the perverts in her neighborhood. After giving it some thought, I have decided that I also want to celebrate this day!

Its National Don't give a sh..t day bumper

After all, in this day and age when older women are called the sandwich generation who better than we to take a day off? I think that National I don't give a sh-t day should be followed by older women everywhere. It was made specially for us!

Actor Gerard Depardieu sucked on too many French grapes

2011-11-07T12:58:00.010-05:00

I recently read very disturbing news about the French artiste Gerard Depardieu. It seems that the famous French icon peed on the aisle of a commercial plane.

Now I am not an unreasonable person. After all, I am sure this sort of thing happens all the time when he flies on private planes. We all know what happens in private planes stays there. However, this is a commercial plane we are talking about! It seems Mr. Depardieu had sucked on way too many French grapes and decided he needed to use the loo, right away, like right n-o-w.

When told that the bathroom lavatories were occupied and he would have to wait, well you know. I think we already have this picture burned in our brain, so I will not repeat. Mr. Depardieu indignantly denied any implication that he was intoxicated. He blamed it on his prostate.

Meanwhile baby boomers all over the world could be heard praying, Lord please don’t ever let this happen to me!

Playboy sources are just “shocked and disappointed.” Shocked I tell you!

2011-06-12T12:56:00.000-04:00

It can be a catastrophe when baby boomers don’t keep up with the times. Just ask the king of studs, Hugh Hefner.
Doesn't he realize that today’s chaste young ladies will speak their minds to anyone, at any time be it one person or millions? It seems that the very reserved Crystal Harris, Hugh Hefner’s fiancée, or to be more accurate, ex-fiancé, had a cozy chat with Howard Stern on his Sirius radio show.

She shyly confessed to only having sex with the 85-year hunk once and thoughtfully added that he had barely lasted two seconds! Well my dear, tell us something we don’t already know. When realizing she finally got Howard's attention she went on about their creepy made in TV reality world. “He does not really take off his clothes. I have never seen him naked and don’t know if I want to” My My! Why on earth could Hefner not predict a breach of etiquette like this would happen? By the way, Playboy responded by saying that they were “shocked and disappointed in Harris.”

Yes, a magazine that has barely legal aged women with an old geezer playing house was “just shocked and disappointed!”
The next day the very modest Hefner wrote a flurry of twitters defending his manhood, but alas, it was too late.

Yikes! Is that the only thing Older mamacitas think of?

2011-05-10T23:37:00.000-04:00

When I Google the words "older women" all I find is sex, plastic surgery and cougars. Actually the very first thing that comes up is about olde women wanting to date younger men. Gees how far is that from our day to day life!
That is why I came up with older women rock.

Most older women have many other things on their mind like how to keep their family together without them killing each other, and how on earth to stretch the paycheck and pay the bills. These things are exhausting! Who has time for the rest?

How about the other important stuff that we are really worried about? Like we are getting to the end of the line in our life. Let’s face it, I hate to sound depressing but pretty soon we will be jumping off that cliff in the sky.

Isn't that we are REALLY thinking about? All this other stuff is a poor distraction. I agree what we are thinking is not something you can bring up in polite conversation without getting a few looks. Me, I want to be ready for that old beyond in the sky. I have always hated surprises.

The closest I have come to in getting a real answer is through meditation. I confess I thought it would be boring as heck. However, I have taken baby steps with this.
I do find it has a calming effect and it sure beats Prozac!

There should be a hotline for "face abuse"

2010-12-13T20:32:00.000-05:00

Why can't I pick up a woman's magazine without it shouting for me to buy this or that wrinkle creme that has enough toxic in it to kill a small village? If the ads are not trying to put enough chemicals on my pores to turn me into a mutant, the cosmetic doctors are chasing me with a knife. What ever happened to the doctor's motto, "First do no harm"?

Our bodies deserve our love and respect, not torture. Have you seen that rich "cat lady" that has done all of those procedures?
In a perfect world, our bodies should be able to dial an "abuse" hotline to whenever its owner has gone haywire.

Once a week I use honey and mix with some sea salt and a tiny bit of water. I put it on my face as a mask and my face glows! Try buying anything that makes you glow in the market place? After all those years of buying expensive cremes that, so help me, got my skin looking wrinkly, I decided to go the natural route. I have never looked back.

Why are we losing our adolescent kids?

2010-11-18T15:37:00.000-05:00

Children start out so joyful and crazy about life. What happens by the time they are adolescents? They seem to fall into deep disappointment and resentment. We have always been lead to believe that the cause is just hormones.

I disagree with this. I think that there are also other factors involved. This routine since kindergarten of having children sit in a classroom all day long, day after day, with just grades as the reason for living, is detrimental to their well being, never mind their spirit.

We have always fought back against their natural tendency for our own convenience. Not too long ago, if they got fidgety it was standard procedure to rap them with a ruler. Now that we are more politically correct, drugging them with Ritalin has become almost routine, not to mention a great business that pushes this as the solution to childhood exuberance.

Is this really the best we can do? Simplicity is always the best course of action. What if children, starting from kindergarten, began their day with a dance class, or more accurately, a simple movement class?

Not a structured dance class by any means. Not like the sports they now participate in, where we tell them every step of the way the correct way to play. Not a dance class where they have large mirrors to criticize themselves with. Just a space and time in the morning where they can move, the music is soothing and they can dance, jump and be silly. It would help them set the tone and be more open for the rest of their day.

This would have to be started very early in their life so that they will not learn to be self-conscious. It would improve the way they think about school when going on that dreaded journey every morning. It would teach them how to connect with their body in a natural way.

If this is done as a routine, by the time they reach adolescence they will feel more of a connection with their body. This will help them when they are feeling down or jumpy. Too many of our young only know how to connect with their body through food, drugs or sex. But then, have we really showed them anything else?

Who knows, after a generation of this practice we may even look back and think of using Ritalin as a barbaric way to treat a child and adolescence as a positive rite of passage like in many other cultures.

In Ted talk Sir Ken Robinson brilliantly talks about this:

http://bit.ly/cTk5AI